Just keep running

Running is listed as part of my care plan with my Psychiatrist and care team. I run for all sorts of reasons; to keep fit, lose weight and so I can eat more cake! It allows me time in my week just to be me, alone. My days are noisy and busy, constant calls of "Miss, miss, miss" and "Mummy, mummy, mummy"; the continuous questions of a four year old and the angry frustrated shouts of a toddler. My mind is constantly juggling washing, toys, lesson plans, reports, school dinner money, calendars and events. But when I run I am just me. All alone with my thoughts. Aside from the therapeutic benefits and endorphins running for me is an analogy for my experience with mental health problems. Often people say to me "oh I couldn't do that". What they mean is they couldn't run 5k, 8k or 10k etc. Which isn't true. Very likely they couldn't stand up at that moment and run a full distance at a good pace. But over a few weeks of running/walking and building up pace and distance they could. Almost anyone can run, it won't necessarily be easy or always enjoyable, but it is definitely possible. And that is part of the analogy for me. In the depths of depression especially, the future is almost impossible to imagine. Convincing someone who is depressed that it will get better and they will feel well again, will be met with the same level of disbelief as telling the average person they can run a marathon. The hardest part of running is getting out there, getting your trainers on and getting out the door. It is a slow process, with slow but steady results. Some days feel amazing and you feel like you could run forever, powerful and free. Other days (and more often) it feel hard, heavy and you push yourself round with all sorts of promises and motivational music. It is often one step forward and two steps back, a new personal best, followed by a period of heavy legs and slow trudging. Week by week you may not notice, but suddenly you are running without stopping, increasing distance and not always feeling like you might keel over. In the same way life with mental health issues is about small steps, more often than not forcing yourself out of bed, out of the house, small achievements that feel meaningless at the time. Over the weeks these small steps increase, the good days begin to outweigh the bad and you begin to recognise yourself again. Sometimes you can do it by yourself, but often, like with running, you need coaches and friends, helping you along. People are important in my running life and in my mental health. I belong to Sweatshop Running Community and benefit from the amazing support and encouragement they give. I love running with people, even when we can't talk, because sometimes it is enough to hear someone else panting alongside you and motivate you to keep going! Park run is another brilliant support, a weekly 5k run that manages to be fully inclusive as well as challenging. In my life it is my family and friends that support and coach me. Sometimes pushing me, occasionally dropping back and simply travelling with me. On 7th September I am running The Great North Run for Rethink Mental Illness. They provide helplines and crisis care, advice on everything from diagnosis to housing, support groups for sufferers and carers, campaign for better awareness and so much more. I am running to raise money for the very important work they do, mental health services have very recently been called the 'Cinderella' service. But I am also doing it to raise awareness and speak out about the realities of life with mental health issues. If you want to sponsor me my link http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/LizClothier And if you want to try running- when I first ran I got to the end of the road, out of breath and thought I might be sick. Now I can run 8k and soon more. If I can do it, anyone can!